I know this normally a photography blog. Maybe (today) a state of mind blog. I’ve thought a lot about Gary Speed over the past few days. I sure many of us have.I remember the first time I felt alone. I was in the south of France on a Rugby tour aged just 12. If why how I went I may never know. I can’t remember much apart from not been able to speak french other than the bit learnt in the 1st year at high school. I do remember I cried a lot I felt like I was dying. This was homesickness at young age miles from home. In this day it would never happen just 2 young lads, me my mate rich. The people we stayed with did nothing for us. so strange! I remember walking miles through field that where like vin yards. The only way the vision printed in my minds is like Van Gough’s landscapes. Orange furrows, lush, green-blue sky and red grapes This has all come back to me tonight in a massive flash back tonight. Just a week of misery without mentioning the fact I drank lots of French water (nobody told me) .
The highlight, the vision, seconds into the eye of the weeklong storm was dropped off in a youth club in the village annse which again was pretty random. There was a cd player and for the first time I can remember hearing a new album with all the hype surrounding it. This was Achtung Baby, i was transfixed. The song may have been One before it become the ultimate wedding song despite it seprative undertones. I never got into U2 for nearly 10 years after. Tonight watching Zoo T.V Live in Sydney DVD. I felt strange? The concert is a thing of Beauty on a mass scale the peak before the progressive troff.
Feeling safe is something i’m distant from I wouldn’t say insecure just struggle to touch from time to time. Bono gets up my nose, not as much as most people but he does! However Acthung, Zooropa and Pop mean so much to me: pure syncopated poetry. These albums give me sound comfort and takes me away from me. I just wish Gary Speed could see how happy he made people feel…
“You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice “
Running To A Stand Still